First post on this blog, seeing as I can't remember passwords worth of crap. But today being Valentines Day and not knowing so much of the meaning of it - how it came to be about - got me to do a little research. What I found was pretty interesting. For one, the day was created because of the death of a man named Valentine, who went out of his way to illegally marry young soldiers because he felt that it was wrong to stop them. He was killed on this day and named a Saint by the Pope. Interesting. How did it come to be what it is today? Time, pretty much. Times change and a lot of things are now unfortunately about money rather than simple letters and pure happiness. I'm personally not a fan of the holiday. I feel like everyone should be showed how much they are loved each and every day. I don't think that only one day out of the year you should just tell your partner that you love them. I think that this should happen on a daily basis or as often as possible. Being a military spouse, it's hard to find the 'time' for your other half - especially if he/she is deployed or away. Those times help me reflect on the things wrong in the relationship - more so what I'm doing wrong or not doing at all. I've learned that missing someone is never a bad thing. It sucks at the time, but it helps you think of all the reasons why you love and care about someone so much. That's never bad. Time away really does help people's relationships. (This, coming from the girl that never wants to be away from her man, haha.)
Anyway, as you may/may not know, I have started going to the gym on a daily basis - officially started 'pushing myself' yesterday. I feel better today even though I was so tired last night after we got in. I also got myself a tanning membership. I know it's not important seeing as we should be saving money (more on that later), but I need time to think and tanning for 10, 20 minutes always gives me the time to do only that without having to worry about anything else. Plus, I am trying to get sexy, summer ready! I have about 12 lbs that I want to lose by summer. People think that 100 lbs is too skinny, but I'm only 4'11". That's the "right" weight for my height. I don't care so much about the number on the scale I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, and I'm not. So that is my main goal. Eating clean has seemed to work though! I started this year at 117lbs. WAY too big. I am down to 112 just from eating fruits, veggies, and lean meats. Snacks are mostly veggies/fruits. I eat whole grains and real granola instead of cereal. It's been 3 days of taking fish oil, and my skin feels so much more supple, if that makes sense.
About the money saving. After a bad day at work they asked if Ryan was deploying. He told them no. They are very upset with him because they know that they will not have anyone good deploying with them now, but isn't that their fault? They are so screwed up. I still feel like he's going to change his mind though because he has until March 17th, Saint Patrick's Day (& my fave holiday!), to tell them if he is or not. I think he's going to change his mind. I can't really blame him for being so cautious about getting out right now. I am so nervous. We won't have healthcare, he won't be working, but he will be going to school and the GI Bill will be paying for him to have a house. Still, we are going to need money for bills and I won't be done school yet at that point. I wanted to get done by December but it just doesn't seem mentally possible. I'm actually thinking about taking less classes in the summer because I'm feeling a little burnt out for rushing so much. Needless to say I am two weeks behind with homework and should be doing that right now, but I don't really want to. Where has my motivation gone?! Anyway, he will be out in January if he doesn't deploy, so we will be home to New England around November of this year. So soon! I'm excited but still so nervous. I don't know if that's where I want to be. I love my family and my friends, but I just don't know. There's so much more out there. Will have to see where my career takes us. That's right, it's MY turn! On another note, if he does deploy, I will probably be back home around September or October. What we're going to do with this house I have no idea. But possibly rent to own or something of the sort. Don't know where I'm going to live either. With 4 animals I'm sure it isn't going to be easy to find some place to rent or even a place with a yard for that matter. I'm nervous but excited to get on with life. I feel like I'm being held back because of the Army, but it really has helped us in more ways than we could ever have asked for. We own a house, everything in this house has been paid for in cash, we don't owe anyone money. We have two fairly reliable vehicles(I might be getting a new one, soon I hope!). We have 4 amazing, intelligent animals who constantly make us smile (& yell! lol)... but we're both very hard working and will be successful at whatever we do. We are very much in love and try all we can to make living with eachother and all the chaos bearable. On that note, Happy Valentine's Day!
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